Stop what you are doing and look into the mirror. Look into your eyes. Now say the following sentence aloud: "I love you just as you are. You are perfect and beautiful." Look at your face. Notice your expression. Do you believe what you just said? What negative thoughts are swirling around in your mind right now?
This exercise is about loving who you are and accepting yourself. To have peace of mind and any kind of success in life, you must love yourself. Loving yourself is hard in our culture. We are told that if we admire ourselves too much and think too many good thoughts about ourselves, then we are vain, self-centered and conceited. We are also told that there is only one standard of beauty: tall, thin, young, white, blond hair, blue eyes, straight hair, and flawless skin. There can be no diversity of beauty in our culture. The farther we are away from the standard of beauty, the less we love ourselves. We believe that we are somehow imperfect and in need of fixing. We spend millions of dollars each year on plastic surgery, cosmetics and beauty products just to look more like the standard beauty. Many women of color hate their ethnicity rather than celebrate the beauty of their ethnicity. Many older women fiercely try to turn back the hands of time with botox and other wrinkle-fighting treatments. It is a vicious cycle of self hatred on a physical level.
We also have difficulty with loving ourselves on an inner, emotional level. Most of us have learned to listen to what other people tell us about ourselves and how other people treat us as a way of figuring out who we are. If other people treat us well, then we may believe that we are lovable and acceptable people. If others treat us badly, then we may believe that we are unlovable and don't deserve to be treated respectfully. If others criticize us, we believe what they tell us as being truthful feedback about who we really are. If others are always telling us how great we are, we believe in their compliments until they stop giving them to us. Suddenly, we begin to feel like we aren't great any more because nobody is telling us so.
All this madness can end today. You have a choice to love or not love yourself. If you choose to love yourself, then you will be opening a new powerful chapter in your life. Self love and self acceptance come from within. How people treat you and what they say about you has absolutely nothing to do with you. Other people's actions and words are merely a reflection of what they believe about themselves. We can never take personally what someone says about us or how they treat us.
Most of us don't accept ourselves as we are. We believe we are somehow incomplete or lacking in some way. We admire other people and compare ourselves with them. Naturally, we come up on the losing end of our comparisons with others. We start believing that we'd be happier and more successful if we were more like someone who is successful or famous. We falsely believe that if we imitate our role model that we'll be more acceptable and successful. The desire to imitate others is a clear sign that we don't love or accept ourselves as we are.
No two people are ever alike. No two people's life experiences will be alike. You don't need to be like anyone else to be more acceptable and successful. You already have your unique combination of personality traits and talents that will launch you forward toward success. The problem is that you've been so busy looking outside yourself that you haven't had the time to discover and express your true self. You can tap into the real you, bring out your hidden or underused traits and create your own path toward success. Love and accept yourself as you are. Know that you are special. You have unique talents, even if you haven't discovered them. You have personality traits hidden that are waiting to come alive that can take your life to great new heights. Be yourself. You are perfect as you are. Discover the real you.
To love yourself more, you must let go of the notion that there is one standard of beauty. There is no such thing as the perfect body. Every body type that is healthy is beautiful. Strive for healthiness rather than extreme thinness. You are perfect as you are. You don't need fixing in any way. Your beauty comes from within, not from whether your skin is flawless and youthful. Let go of the perfect beauty illusion that advertisers promote. Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and colors in life. Just take a walk in nature and you will see a variety of beauty that comes in different shapes, forms and colors. Let go of the limited, narrow definition of beauty and include yourself in the larger definition of real beauty.
Accept yourself as you grow older. Beauty doesn't end at the first sign of a wrinkle. Beauty comes from within--it has nothing to do with outside, physical appearances. True beauty begins with your unique personality instead of flawless skin or the "perfect" body. Your capacity to give, receive, be positive, feel compassion for others, serve others and grow emotionally are a few examples of the inner sources of beauty. We learn to give more, receive more, feel more compassion, serve others and grow more personally as we become older. We get a better understanding of who we are and what life is truly about the more we have experienced life.
As we age, the best of who are and our best lives emerge. I wouldn't trade those gifts for youth. Instead of feeling depressed because you are getting older, celebrate the fact that you know yourself better than you did when you were younger. Celebrate your unique personality and express yourself in everything you do with confidence. Express yourself through your clothes and how you carry yourself. Walk with your head up and gracefully because you know who you are now. Love and respect who you are.
Affirmations: I love myself unconditionally for who I am at this moment. I am perfect as I am. I am beautiful as I am. I appreciate myself more with each passing year. I love the person that I'm growing into. I am wiser and even more beautiful as I grow older. I am uniquely talented.
Copyright©2006 Jeannine Robinson All Rights Reserved