I have found myself reluctant to try certain experiences because I wasn't successful in the past. The failure stayed in my mind. I wondered if every new attempt would be the like the previous. The older we are or the more times that we have taken a risk without getting what we had hoped, we may be unwilling to try again. How can we break out of that cycle of allowing our past to hold us back in the future?
As I became older and wiser, I realized that life is a game of trial and error. You try something and see what happens. What you get back isn't really a success or failure. Tony Robbins, motivational speaker and author, believes we always get some form of feedback from all of our experiences. We may not always like the feedback, but we are the ones who attach an emotional value to it. If we could see our experience as feedback without judgment, then maybe we could be open and willing to continue putting ourselves out there to experience more from life.
I love kids because they are masters at experiencing and living life with their curiosity. They aren't carrying any memories of what happened in the past when they tried something new and didn't have a pleasant experience. They allow themselves to be completely free to experience each moment as an adventure. They quickly forget about their past stumbles and hurts. They don't worry about what could go wrong. They seem to have any inner knowing that they will handle whatever happens next. Regardless of what happens next, they never stop trying out new experiences. They truly do go into each experience with a clean slate.
Kids have an amazing ability to block out what other people tell them. They want to find out what happens next for themselves. They want to create their own experience. Somebody else's experience won't do as a substitute for having their own experience. Kids aren't afraid to take risks and go outside their comfort zone. They are truly fearless. They get it that our life experience should be about pushing beyond what is familiar and going into new territory. They seek out new experiences instead of settling for what they already know.
The fearlessness that we see in kids isn't silly or naïve. Kids truly trust life. They know and trust at their deepest levels that life always supports them. If they fall down and skin their knee, they might cry. Most importantly, they get right back up and go back to playing, even doing the same thing they were doing when they fell. Kids truly allow their curiosity to guide them through life. Life is really an endless adventure to them before well-meaning adults teach them to stop being curious and be afraid about what happens next.
There is still hope for us. We can unlearn fear and learn to be curious about life again. Exactly how? We need to be willing to change our thinking and our thoughts. Our thoughts really do create our life experiences. First, we need to understand that Life always supports us, even when we don't get what we want. Life is supporting us even during some of most painful, unpleasant experiences. Every experience, pleasant or unpleasant, always gives us the opportunity to learn a new lesson about life and ourselves. We always benefit from our experiences. We grow stronger, wiser and even more confident from each experience, if we will allow it.
We have to learn to create our own experiences if we are going to restore our curiosity. The majority of us have grown used to being spoon fed the details of who we are, how our lives are supposed to be and about life in general. We'd much rather read about someone else's experience than create our own. We easily allow other people's experiences to become a substitute for us creating our own experiences. It is okay to read about other people's experiences, but it is unwise to assume that our experiences will be similar to those of others.
We need to challenge ourselves to be open and desire to create our own experiences. Be willing to try whatever interests you for yourself and see what happens. Don't go into a new experience with a bunch of pre-conceived ideas of how it is supposed to be like--allow the experience to define itself. Each experience is new and will yield its own
It is wise for us to emotionally let go of the past. The past isn't really linked to this present moment or the future. Some part of our lives or even our current situation may look and feel just like the past, but the past and present aren't really connected. The past doesn't predict what happens for the rest of your life. If you failed in the past, it doesn't mean that you will fail now or in the future. Keep reminding that each new moment has a new, wonderful experience awaiting you. Be bold enough to try again and do the same thing that you "failed" at earlier. Use what you learned from your earlier attempt and make a few adjustments to see what you get the next time. Be persistent and keep going after what you want.
We can learn to trust ourselves completely as children do. The trick to building trust is really believe that we can handle whatever comes next. Don't think about how you let yourself down in the past and assume that you'll do so in the future. Forgive yourself and understand that you grew wiser and stronger from whatever happened in the past. Remind yourself that you are always doing the best with what you understand about yourself and life. Know that you can handle whatever happens next, so be willing to take a risk. Remind yourself that whatever happens next is something that will benefit you, even if it isn't exactly what you had planned for. It takes time and practice to learn to trust yourself, but I encourage you to work on this way to thinking. When you truly trust yourself, you are open to exploring more in life. Learn to keep exploring and stretching beyond your comfort zone. Get in the habit of listening to your instincts without judgment. Allow your instincts to guide your actions of where to go next.
As curious people, kids aren't attached to any particular outcome. Kids simply want to learn and explore their way through life. They are completely open to seeing what they get if they do this versus that. As adults, we need to let go of our attachment to a particular outcome. Be curious about what happens next and trust that whatever happens next will benefit you.
I'm learning to be more curious myself. It is a continuous process that stretches over a lifetime. Keep building on your ever-growing curiosity. Whenever I'm thinking about taking some type of action, I ask myself, "If I do this, I wonder what will happen next?". I'm not emotionally attached to any particular outcome; even though, I have a specific goal that I'm working on. By being curious, I'm allowing everything to unfold in wonderful and exciting ways that I may or may not have expected. I truly believe that I'm always smarter, wiser and just in a better place, even if the results don't appear to move me closer to getting what I want. It took me a while to learn how to think this way. I can honestly say that my life seems lighter and even more fun now that I've learned to be curious. I still have to keep working on being even more curious. Here's to you rediscovering your curiosity!
Affirmations: Every day, I am curious, even more curious than the day before. My curiosity leads me to unexpected and wonderful discoveries. I can handle whatever happens next. I trust myself more with each passing day.
Copyright©2006 Jeannine Robinson All Rights Reserved