Are you worried or curious about the future? Most of us worry about what is going to happen next. Recently, I was worrying about whether I would be able to accomplish my goals within my timetable. Having had my share of setbacks with my career change, I was worried about some unforeseen obstacle that might throw everything off. I realized that this way of thinking was not healthy at all. I had forgotten how to be curious and fallen back into the old familiar pattern of worry.
I remembered a Buddhist teaching that encourages us to be more curious than afraid about the future. Worry comes directly from fear. We fear a certain outcome and we worry about when and if our fear will be realized. I couldn't be curious about what might happen next if I was worrying about the future. I vowed to stop worrying from that moment.
Fear stifles curiosity. With fear, we can't be open to all the expected and unexpected ways that our life could unfold to give us what we want and even more. If we choose to be curious, then we could be more open and willing to explore what could happen next through many paths.
Fear and worry often surface when we are dealing with uncertainty and the great unknown. Whenever we start a new phase of life whether it be getting married, getting a new job, entering the work world, getting divorced, taking a sabbatical or changing careers, we are stepping into the unknown. When we take a big risk or dare to go after a big dream, we are also going into the unknown. There is no certainty in the unknown. We don't always know what is going to happen next. Often, we can do what worked for us in the old territory--only to learn that it doesn't create the results that we want in the unknown or new territory.
Just living requires us to face the unknown and uncertainty. We have learned to deal with uncertainty with worry and fear. How can we make the most of being in the unknown without being completely afraid and worried about what is going to happen next? Being curious is the answer. Being curious means asking "If I do take this action or move onto this path, I wonder what will happen?". We don't draw any conclusions--we simply allow everything to unfold without judgment. With curosity, we understand that there are no losses. Even if we don't get what we wanted or if life throws us a curveball, it is always a winning situation. A detour can lead us to a higher path where God intended us to be. A deadend can also lead us to an even higher place. A setback can help us better prepare to receive what we want.
Why is curiosity better than worry? Curiosity is emotionally neutral, unlike fear and worry which are negative, useless emotional energy. Fear and worry emotionally attaches us to outcomes that we don't want. With curiosity, we are leaving open the possibility that everything will work out wonderfully, regardless of whether we get what we want.
Being curious helps us to not become emotionally attached to a specific outcome or timetable. Curiosity implies that we are moving with the flow of life wherever it takes us. We may declare our goals and work toward them; but if they don't materialize, we understand that something deeper is happening. We are ready and open to where else we may need to move. The more emotionally attached we are to a particular goal, then we are going to worry about what happens next.
Our thoughts create our experiences. Whatever we are thinking about now or even in the past is creating the future. If we are worrying about what is going to happen and thinking about possible unpleasant experiences, then we are drawing those experiences to us. We are attracting what we don't want instead of leaving ourselves open to the possibilities. Being curious helps us stay open to many possibilities.
We can all learn to become more curious about what is going to happen next. Understand that life is a journey filled with learning experiences. You benefit from every experience including the pleasant and unpleasant. Always understand that if an unpleasant experience happens next, you will benefit from it tremendously. You will dig deeper within yourself and learn how to pick yourself up from a setback. You will learn something powerful about yourself, about how to relate to others and about how life works. You may learn something to brings you to your divine purpose. Just simply expect to benefit from all of your experiences. Be curious about what you can learn and how you can grow on a personal level. Look forward to growing personally.
Worry and fear falsely leads us to believe that we are completely in control. Our success or failure along with joy or despair is solely in our hands. The reality is that we aren't really in control. The more we believe that we are in control and struggle to control every situation, then we are asking for more emotional pain. It feels very disappointing and frustrating when you do everything you know and still don't get the results that you want. It is so easy to feel defeated and to even worry about the future. Give up the need to control everything. Commit to being curious about what happens if you take this course of action.
Be willing to experiment instead of believing that you are always have to be in control. Curiosity allows us to approach everything with an experimental or trial and error attitude.Curosity challenges us to approach life with the attitude of trial and error. We become like scientists who experiment with one course of action and see what results. If we don't like the results, we can try another course of action until we get the desired results. At any time, we can also choose to an entirely new experiment with new actions. When we are experimenting, we are not getting emotionally attached to what might or might not happen in the future. We are simply curious about what will be the result.
Curiosity reminds us to stay connected to this present moment. We are thinking about what we are doing now and allowing the future to unfold as it will. By worrying about the future, we are not focused on the present moment. Worry limits us. It cuts us off from that Life can and will offer us. We are not making the most of this present moment. With worry, we tell ourselves that we have a set of limited outcomes and options. If we don't get what we want now, we don't see other more benefical outcomes for ourselves being available.
How do we stay in the present moment with our thoughts? Whenever I worry about the future, I remind myself that the future will take care of itself. It isn't my responsibility to concern myself with how everything will work out. My job is to trust and believe that everything will work out. I focus my thoughts back to finding the lesson from whatever I'm dealing with in the present. If I haven't reached my goals yet, I realize it might be a sign that I'm not emotionally ready yet. I might need to do some emotional clearing or get some additional assistance before I'm ready. If things aren't going the way I want them, I try not to assume or believe that the future will be more of the same. I hold out hope for the future because I don't know God's masterplan for me. I simply trust that he has greatness in store for me. I pay attention to where I am being guided and I follow that guidance.
Think about your life for a moment. Do you worry about what's going to happen next? Are you curious about how your life will unfold without worry? Challenge yourself not to worry or fear the future. If you find yourself thinking about the future, think about what you want to happen instead of what you don't want to happen. Try to stay mentally connected to the present. If you don't like the state of your life, think about what you want to happen in the future. Remember to trust that every experience is for your highest good, even those experiences that we don't particularly like.
Affirmations: I choose to be curious in my life. Wonderful experiences and opportunities are opening up in my life. Life supports me at every turn. The future will take care of itself. I focus on the present moment.
Copyright©2006 Jeannine Robinson All Rights Reserved