What if we could learn to see failure in a powerful, new way? Would you be willing to look at failure as a necessary step to success? The late Rev. Eric Butterworth taught that failure is a necessary step for achieving success. Our failure allows us to learn what works and what does not work. We can take what we learned and apply it to our next attempt.
In this light, failure is not something to fear or avoid. Failure does not mean that we cannot ever be successful. Failure does not mean that we are inadequate and hopelessly doomed. Failure does not mean that we did something wrong and cannot figure out what to do to get what we want.
Failure is simply a tool by which we learn. Whatever we learn is necessary and key to us reaching the point of success. We never really learned to see failure as a positive. We believe that failure means stop going after our goals. Failure does not mean that our goals are impossible to reach.
Several years ago when my attempts to market my own motivational seminars flopped, I shelved that dream. I tried a couple of different ways to plan and market my seminars, but nothing really worked. I ran into obstacles with booking meeting space. If I did book meeting space, I had difficulty getting people to come to my seminars. I felt like a complete failure. I felt wrong as I second-guessed every decision I had made in the planning and marketing of my seminars. I was angry that I had spent time and money without getting a single person to come hear what I had to say.
I was questioning if I could keep trying to do my own seminars while I knew that seminars were still part of my life purpose. As much as I wanted to give up completely, my wise inner self persuaded me to let the motivational seminar idea rest a while. It was not the right time for the seminars. I would be better served if I moved on to something else while keeping my seminars as a possibility for the future.
Now I am learning to see failure as a sign to keep going. I like to think of failure telling me that "I'm getting warmer or closer" to getting what I want.
What makes it so difficult to see failure as a positive is that we get too emotionally attached to the outcome of whatever we are trying to do. Our ego gets too caught up in a specific result. If we fail to get our desired outcome, then we immediately reach the conclusion that we failed. We believe that we wasted our time and resources.
Whenever we try, we always get a result. It might not be the result that we had hoped for, but we always get something. When nobody showed up to my two day seminar, I did get a result. I learned how to negotiate with a hotel for meeting space. I learned about the ins and outs of advertising on radio and television. I actually placed my first newspaper ad, which was a great learning experience. I had the chance to witness how creative I could be with marketing my seminar as I sought out nontraditional ways to reach people. I got to see a whole new part of myself emerging that I would not have seen had I not done this seminar.
I still have not given up on my dream of convening my motivational seminars. Now I have some experience under my belt that will help me when I decide to resume that goal again.
There is no need to be angry or ashamed if you meet failure. Failure is really your friend and teacher if you are open to receive its lessons for you. Keep failure in perspective and use it as a learning tool. When you encounter failure, look at what you did well and what you could have done differently. Basically, see what worked well and what did not work well. Make corrections and try again to see what results you get. Be open to trying many times before getting what you want. Stay connected with your instincts to determine if it is wise to continue staying on your path.
Our ego wants us to believe that success should be ours if we work hard. If we are not successful, then something is wrong. Get your ego out of the way. Your ego will paint a hopeless, pitiful picture of your failure. If you allow yourself to buy into those thoughts, you are only asking for misery. Why not choose to see failure as a positive tool toward your success. It does not matter how many times you encounter failure, you can still reach success. Failure may be challenging you to change your approach or modify your goal a little. Failure may even challenge you to consider a whole new way of reaching your goal that you had not even considered.
Failure is not something we need to fear. We have no reason to run from it. So many people are so afraid of failure that they are unwilling to even take a risk. If we are unwilling to take a risk or try new experiences, then we are not growing. Failure is key to growing and expanding our understanding of who we are and how to live our lives.
We want to avoid appearing as failures to our friends and family. What other people think about failure in meaningless to you. If someone else thinks of you as a failure, so what? What matters most is what you think of yourself. Our definition of failure and success are subjective--it changes from person to person.
Our culture worships success at the highest level. The problem is that we forget the real point of living: to keep exposing one's self to new experiences and challenges. The result of your efforts is not important. What matters is that you were willing to put yourself out there. You came away with something, even if it was not what you intended. You have gained far more than the person who stays on the sidelines and labels those who try and come up short as a failure.
It is unwise to allow anybody to pity or shame you just because you met failure. Others may choose to see failure as a negative, but you can always choose to see it as a positive step along the road toward success. Failure comes before success. If you are unable to face failure, then you are not moving toward success. Feel good about taking the risk and challenge, regardless of the results. Regroup and keep going after what you want.
Affirmations: Success is on the way. I learn from all of my experiences. I use my experiences to grow.
Copyright©2007 Jeannine Robinson All Rights Reserved