The late Rev. Raymond Charles Barker taught that hesitation was a decision to fail. When you don't or can't make a decision, you are sending a message to your subconscious mind that you want to fail. To be successful in getting what we want in life, we need to take action. Action requires us to make decisions.
Why do we delay making a decision and taking action? Fear of the unknown is the primary reason why we stall and hesitate. Action will conquer fear. Most of us believe that when we are afraid, it is best not to take any action or make any decision until our fear lessens. Sometimes, we delay action because we want to wait on getting more information.
Often, making a decision seems too complicated and overwhelming because we have many choices to choose from. Recently, when I was working with my web designer to redesign my website, I was hesitating about making decisions. How did I want the new design to look like? What color scheme did I want? What images did I want? It just seemed overwhelming, so I put off making a decision. I feared that I might not like what I decided, so it felt easier not to decide on anything. It was not until my designer informed me that he had done all that he could and he needed me to make some decisions before he could finish the project. The longer I held off making a decision, then I was delaying the expansion of my website into the next phase.
I broke through my impasse by making a small decision about the new design. One decision made it easier to make the next decision. Before I knew it, I had chosen the new look of my website. By making those decisions, I'm one step closer to expanding my website.
Nobody ever intentionally sets out to fail. Within us, there are two conflicting parts: one part of us that seeks growth and change. This part of us is willing to take risks. The other part of us seeks to maintain the familiar or the status quo. This part of us fights taking risks or taking any new action. The part of ourselves that fights growth, also feeds indecision because it is afraid of moving away from the familiar. We might set a goal for ourselves, but we find ourselves running into resistance. Where there is inner conflict, we get the outcome that matches the stronger, more dominant emotional part of us. For most of us, the fearful part of our personalities that fights change is stronger.
Most of us dislike making decisions because we are afraid that we will be unhappy with what we choose. It is okay if you no longer like what you choose. You can choose again. Your first choice wasn't wrong. We have to make a choice so that we can get clearer about what we want and what we don't want. The longer we delay making a choice, we stay confused and unclear about what it is that we really do want.
A decision brings us greater clarity. The longer we stall about making a decision, we stay in a muddled state of confusion. Our confusion seems to grow the longer we stall. To break the stalemate, we need to just make a small decision. Once we take that step, we will find ourselves more willing to make the next decision.
We are often afraid to make a decision because it means that we are committing ourselves to taking a specific action. To take our lives to the next level or to move our lives from where we are today, we need to be willing to make a decision and take action. Most of us are afraid of letting go of familiar experience and moving into the unknown. We hold off making a decision so that we can stay in familiar territory, even if it is miserable.
As a way to bypass indecision, we can learn to strengthen that part of our personalities that seeks change and growth. How? We must learn to see a decision as an empowering part of our growth. Every time we are making even the smallest decision, we are moving forward. When we hesitate with making a decision, we are not moving forward.
We must take the pressure off of ourselves about making choices. It is not necessary for us to know everything before we can make a decision. We can never truly have all the answers or know exactly how something is going to turn out until we go through the experience. Our job is to allow ourselves to go through the experience and discover what how everything will unfold. We have to learn to trust our instincts in making decisions. When we find ourselves afraid to make a decision, we need to face that fear directly by making a decision. Take whatever you are trying to decide and break it down into smaller pieces. Make a tiny decision and take a baby step. Keep taking baby steps. By making a choice, we are building momentum that will give us even more confidence to make the next decision. Before we even realize it, we will have made a series of decisions. We are moving forward before we can stop ourselves.
Life Coach and Self Help author, Cheryl Richardson, talks about the importance of making decisions immediately without allowing too much time for reflection. We do a really good job of talking ourselves out of taking action the more time that we have to analyze a decision. Richardson is not suggesting irresponsible or rash decision-making. She is simply suggesting that we learn to trust our first instinct and follow that action instead of deliberating about our decision. Our first instinct usually comes from that wise part of our soul that knows the big picture of who we are and why we are here. The longer we deliberate on a decision, the part of us that fights growth is leading the way.
Be willing to make a choice. Stop worrying about being wrong or right since there are only experiences. Our job is not to judge or label our experiences as either right or wrong. No matter the outcome of your decision, you can handle the results. You will benefit from your all your experiences. Just be willing to allow yourself to move forward and explore the unknown.
Affirmations: I am willing to make a decision. I always have the right to change my mind. My decisions are neither right nor wrong.
Copyright©2007 Jeannine Robinson All Rights Reserved