Most of us have this false impression about ourselves. We doubt that we are really good enough. We feel wrong in so much of who we are and how we live our lives. Most of us received this idea that we were not good enough when we were kids. We might have gotten this message over and over until it sunk into the deepest levels of our being. Now, we may not be consciously aware that we believe that we are not good enough.
As adults, we have forgotten to know that we are good enough. We were born knowing that we were good enough as babies. We simply got in the habit of always believing that when something does not go the way we had hoped, it is because we are not good enough. If we make a mistake, it is because we are not good enough. If we are unable to get what we want, then it must be because we are not good enough. When it comes to having the courage to go after what we want, we often do it half-heartedly or stop ourselves before we get too far. It is all because we are unable to believe that we are good enough to get what we want.
I used to think that I was not good enough. I thought back to where I got that idea. It came from my perfectionist father who always demanded straight A's from me. Despite being an honor roll student and getting academic awards, I never felt good enough. My academic achievements seemed to be meaningless to my father because I did not get straight A's.
This feeling of not being good enough has stayed with me throughout my adult life. Recently, I made a decision to stop carrying the "I'm not good enough" banner. When I think about myself now, I am learning to trust that I am good enough. I try to stop seeking other people's approval of who I am and how I live my life. I am trying to live my life on my terms instead of trying to be just like everybody else. I am working not to judge myself or my success based on standards that somebody else has defined. I try not to second-guess myself when I fall short of reaching my goals. I know that I have the talents and abilities within me to do whatever my dreams call for. My job is to awaken these talents and abilities by believing in myself without a doubt.
My worth as a person is not based on external accomplishments or circumstances. Every single person including you is born good enough. You cannot lose being good enough. You are always good enough whether you use all your talents and abilities. You are good enough whether other people recognize all your talents and abilities. You are good enough, even if other people criticize you. You are good enough, even if you have not achieved much in your life up to this point. You are good enough, even if you have made choices that created struggle for yourself and others. Regardless of how you have lived your life, you are good enough. Whatever happened in your past does not lessen you being good enough. How you have lived or whether you have taken advantage of every opportunity does not lessen you being good enough. Your circumstances are not a measure of how good you are. You always have been good enough. You always will be good enough. The sooner that you realize that you are good enough, you can step into your greatness.
Our feelings of not being good enough come from other people criticizing us or not approving of us. If you believe that you need other people's approval to be good enough, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. I have found that when we give other people the power to determine our worthiness, we will always feel not good enough. Other people keep moving the approval bar higher on us. No matter how many accomplishments we achieve, the bar gets raised higher. Even if we try to be the person that other people expect us to be, we still may not earn their approval. No matter what we do, we may never truly feel good enough. Simply, it is a battle that we can never win. Sadly, some people spend their entire lives trying to win this battle instead of going about the business of living and creating their lives on their own terms.
When we are trying to make ourselves good enough in other people's eyes, we have taken our focus off our lives. We are pre-occupied with what other people think about us and what they want from us. The purpose of living is to be our unique selves and live out our unique purpose. Nobody else can know your purpose. It is your job to discover your purpose and then get to living it. If you are so busy trying to be good enough in someone else's eyes, then you may be neglecting your life.
We often feel not good enough we believe we have few accomplishments or have fallen short of success. Being good enough has nothing to do with accomplishments. Being good enough is an inner knowing or trust that we have in ourselves and our abilities. We know that we are capable of achieving many feats within our lifetime, even if we have not done so in the past. We know that we can handle whatever life gives us.
How do we let go of not believing we are good enough? Remind yourself everyday that you are good enough. Resist the urge to second- guess yourself when you fall short of getting what you want. Most of us fall into the trap of believing that we lack some personality quality or ability that keeps us from being successful. We doubt if we have what it takes to become successful. Blaming ourselves or believing that we can never reach success serves no purpose.
Stop trying to make yourself wrong and blaming yourself. In life, we are always learning as we go along. Sometimes, we get the results that we want on the first try. Other times, we have to try many times before we get what we want. In rare instances, we may not always get what we want, no matter how many times we try or what we do. Life is about trial and error. We set a goal, go after it and see what happens. Success is never guaranteed. All we can do is try. If we come up short, then it is a time to evaluate what worked well and what did not work well. We can try as many times as we feel necessary or move on to a new goal.
You are already a success. Most of us turn a blind eye to our daily successes because these successes are not monumental. Waking up everyday is a success because it means that you are alive and have another day to add to your life. Saying no to a request that you have no interest in doing is another success. Finding your way to a new destination, even if you did get lost, is yet another success. Trying something new is another success because it means that you are expanding your experience. Success is all around you if you pay attention and look for it. We fall into the trap of allowing other people to define success for us as something large and often beyond our control. Keep a list of all of your successes--the big and small successes as a reminder. You already have a strong track record of success that you may not be giving credit to yourself.
Understand that everything about your life is unique. Sure, on the surface, your life may seem like somebody else's life, but it is not the case. Quit comparing yourself and your life with somebody else's life. Every single person has unique talent and abilities which really are incomparable. Your journey in life will be different than somebody else's journey. Different does not mean inferior. Some people may have difficulty in their early life while others have it later in life. Know that your circumstances have nothing to do with you being good enough. The person who seems to have so little is good enough just as the person who seems to have unlimited opportunities.
Focus on your strengths and think less about your flaws. Write a list of your strengths. Keep adding to your list. Look at your list of strengths everyday as a reminder of just how wonderful you are. Find something big and small reasons to praise yourself about everyday. Remind yourself how good you are.
Now that you know that you are good enough, you have a choice. You can learn to trust and know without a doubt that you are good enough. It does not matter what other people think about you. Your accomplishments and circumstances have nothing to do with you being good enough. You can choose to live a life from a powerful place of knowing that you are good enough. Just knowing that you are good enough allows you to take your life to another level. There is no telling to what you can do in life when you know that you are good enough. The world needs you to know that you are good enough because you have so much to offer to this world.
Affirmations: I am always good enough. I always have been good enough. I accept myself for who I am.
Copyright©2007 Jeannine Robinson All Rights Reserved