For several years now, I have shared the idea that our experiences always have something to teach us about ourselves and our lives. We know about many empowering ideas for better living, but the real test is whether we actually apply those ideas to our lives. Do we fall back into old patterns of thinking about our lives or do we apply new thought patterns? Recently, I had a minor health problem that could have been worse had I not remembered that this experience was a learning opportunity. Once I got past being afraid and worried about my health, I arrived at a place where I could begin asking, "what is this experience trying to teach me?".
My right ear had become clogged up with excess ear wax. A simple ear cleaning would unclog my ear. It sounds easy, but I have a major phobia about putting anything inside my ears.
After a great deal of resistance and tears, I finally relented to allowing my boyfriend to clean and flush my ears as much I could tolerate. I could not tolerate very much of this cleaning method. Unfortunately, the cleaning was not enough to relieve the problem. The whole cleaning process was emotionally and physically traumatic for me, so I had to search for other alternative home remedies that were less invasive. The thought of going to a doctor to have my ears cleaned just seemed too traumatic for me to consider.
My ear problems stretched on for several weeks as I could only tolerate a few drops of oil inside my ear every other day instead of doing it several times a day for consecutive days as prescribed. I cried in frustration as my ear improved only moderately. All of my choices were undesirable. I could try to keep using the home remedies a little longer or I would need to have a doctor to clean my ears. I was tired of doing the traumatic ritual of having oil drops placed in my ear. I just did not know if I could tolerate and allow a professional cleaning without a complete emotional meltdown. I had to confront my fears over and over again as long as my ear clear.
Naturally, I made myself wrong for having a phobia about my ears. Every time I cleaned my ears, it was a form of shock therapy. I was angry at myself for not being able to tolerate my ears being cleaned as I compared myself with people who could easily do it. I could see how this whole nightmare would be over if I just could tolerate more. I was so disappointed and frustrated with myself. Why could I not do more? Why did I have this sensitivity with my ears? Why did my right ear have to clog up? Why did I ever wear those headphones? Why is this happening now?
Being angry at myself and feeling miserable about my clogged up ear was not doing me any good. I started to think about what was the learning opportunity in this entire experience. I looked for the symbolism with my ears. What was it that I was trying to avoid hearing in my life? There were actions and decisions that I was avoiding in my life because I just did not want to tolerate them or I believed that I could not tolerate them. I never thought I would be able to tolerate having a few drops of oil placed in my ear. If I could tolerate that, I could tolerate other things, too. I became more willing to tolerate actions and behaviors that I had been avoiding. The gift of dealing with my clogged up ear was to help teach me how to consider tolerating other undesirable things that I needed to do in the short term that could help me with my long term goals.
I thought about my spoken words over the years. Living in an apartment community, I have said statements like, "I'm tired of hearing my neighbor's television. I don't want to hear my neighbor's noise." My spoken words were affirmations that could be creating my experience. If I did not want to hear something within my environment; then sooner or later, my ears may stop hearing everything. Sure enough, my ear became clogged up where my hearing was slightly affected. I stopped talking in terms of what I did not want to hear and started saying that "I want to hear. I am happy to hear."
My experience with my ears was yet another lesson in how I need to love myself more and have greater compassion for myself. I was so busy being angry with myself because I could not tolerate the ear cleaning process. I had lost sight of just how much I had learned to tolerate in my ear in such a short time. I had started at tolerating nothing to being able to tolerate a few drops every other day. That was big progress for me! Everybody has some area of his life where he has a low tolerance level. Just because my low tolerance area was different than somebody else's did not make me wrong or any less of a person. I stopped judging myself as wrong. I had to remind myself that I was doing the best that I could.
This experience with my ears taught me to get quiet, take my time and listen to my instincts. I had other people offering helpful advice on what I needed to do to solve my ear problem. Their suggestions were beyond what I knew I could tolerate. Initially, I felt angry at myself because I knew I could not do what other people told me I would have to do. I had to stop listening to other people's suggestions and find my own solutions. Once I got quiet, I realized that I needed to stop using the oil and allow my ears to get back to doing what they did naturally. I would seek out an alternative medical doctor, if the situation did not clear up. My ear began letting go of the excess wax on its own without any more intervention. The ringing went away.
My experience with my ears also helped me to focus more on my nutrition and its connection with my health. I drastically cut back on my consumption of sugar, fat and diary products. I began proper food combining which helped me feel more energetic, even when I had restless, sleepless nights. I returned to eating more fresh fruits and vegetables, which will help me to be healthier in general.
When you face a minor or even major health crisis, be more loving to yourself. Resist blaming, judging and criticizing yourself. Work through the "Why me?" and "Why now?" questions so that you can move into "What is this trying to teach me? What is my health problem symbolizing in my outer life? How can I use this situation to my advantage?". Try to identify what your health problem is mirroring in your life.
Be kinder and gentler with yourself. Allow yourself to rest and relax more if you need it. Give yourself some time off from work. Allow yourself to do fun activities if you feel you need a break from thinking about your health. Focus as much as possible on being a well person who is in the business of living a happy life instead of staying shut in and feeling sorry for yourself. Laugh as much as you can. Be relaxed and let go of stress as much as possible. Keep things light in your life. Do what you enjoy and whatever makes you feel alive and happy.
Use your health problem as an opportunity to make important, healthier lifestyle changes. Is there more that you can be doing to add to your well-being? Make your health and well-being a greater priority now. There is no need to criticize or blame yourself for unhealthy choices you made in the past. Your future starts with what you choose to do now. Be patient with yourself as you work on adopting new habits--you may move back and forth between older habits and newer healthier habits. It is unrealistic to expect yourself to give up something familiar and adopt something new without any resistance or backstepping. Small changes will add up to big dividends later.
Practice forgiveness. Forgive yourself and the affected body part. Forgive others. Let go of the anger about not being well. Forgive your body for not functioning well. Renew your faith and trust in yourself and your body.
Try not to get consumed by your health crisis. Give yourself mini-vacations away from talking or thinking about your health crisis. Your mini-vacation can be minutes, hours, or even days, whatever you decide you need. Try not to feel sorry for yourself. Remind yourself that you can get through this crisis and that better days are ahead. Think of yourself as a well person who is facing a temporary challenge. Focus on living and being healthy instead of ill. Talk more about what is going well in your life and do less complaining about your health. Make a list of all that you have to be grateful for in your life right now, even if you are not as healthy as you would like to be.
Think about your thoughts and words. What have you been saying that might have been a negative affirmation manifesting itself as your current health problem? Think about more positive thoughts that can replace your negative affirmations. Pay attention to your spoken word and thoughts so that you can immediately switch away from those negative affirmations and replace them with positive affirmations.
Your health situation may be an opportunity to get in touch with your instincts and tune out other people's opinions about what is right for you. Only you can really figure out what is right for you. Remember that you are unique and one-size-fits-all solutions may not be what you need. There are many paths to wellness. Get quiet and think about what feels right for you. If possible, give yourself space and time to filter out other people's opinions and discover your true feelings. Pay attention to coincidences and whatever gets your attention. Your instincts are always guiding you through expected and unexpected ways. Work on trusting yourself to make choices that support your wellness.
May you always be blessed with wellness!
Copyright©2007 Jeannine Robinson All Rights Reserved